An uncomfortable truth: in the US you buy a home through a system that's very different from Puerto Rico, Mexico, Colombia, or wherever you grew up. There are 7-9 different players in every transaction (loan officer, agent, underwriter, title attorney, inspector, appraiser, escrow, etc.), each with their own role, and you're the one coordinating it all. Once you understand the sequence, it stops feeling chaotic.
Month 0-6 · Preparation (this is where it's won or lost)
This is the phase that decides 80% of your home-buying success. If your credit and finances aren't ready, no real estate agent or loan officer can work magic. I covered this in detail in the credit preparation article, but here's the short version:
- Credit score ideally above 680 (640 is the realistic minimum for FHA)
- Debt-to-income (DTI) ideally below 36% — including your future mortgage payment
- 2 years of stable work history (if you switched jobs, wait 6+ months in the new one)
- Down payment + closing costs sitting in your bank account, with 60+ days of seasoning
- Reserves of 2-6 months of mortgage payments (depending on the loan program)
Month 6 · Get the pre-approval (NOT the pre-qualification)
Two things look identical but aren't: pre-qualification and pre-approval. Pre-qualification is basically "you told a loan officer your numbers over the phone and they gave you a ballpark." Pre-approval is the real deal: the loan officer pulls your credit, reviews your W-2/1099, verifies your bank account, and issues a letter stating how much the lender can approve under specific conditions, subject to final underwriting.
Serious real estate agents — and sellers — only take a real pre-approval seriously. A pre-qualification is a sticker; a pre-approval is the key that gets you into the game. Always ask for a pre-approval.
Month 7-9 · House-hunting (and surviving the market)
With your pre-approval in hand, you reach out to a real estate agent. Something important: in the US the seller traditionally paid BOTH agents' commissions (theirs and yours). That changed in 2024 with the NAR settlement — now many buyers have to negotiate and sign a buyer-broker agreement where YOU take on your agent's commission. Before you sign anything with an agent, read the whole document and understand exactly what you're being charged.
Three rules to survive this phase emotionally:
- Don't fall in love with the first house. 90% of buyers change their mind about what they "need" after seeing 10 properties. Visit several before making an offer.
- In competitive markets, escalated offers (with appraisal gap waivers, escalation clauses, etc.) are common. Make sure you understand what you're signing — an appraisal gap waiver can cost you $20k if the appraisal comes in low.
- Don't skip the inspection, not even in a seller's market. A $400 inspection can save you $40,000 in hidden structural problems. If the seller demands no inspection, find another house.
Month 9-10 · Under contract
Once your offer is accepted and the contract is signed, you enter the "under contract" or "in escrow" phase. This typically lasts 30-45 days. Several things happen in parallel:
- Home inspection (within the first 10-14 days)
- Appraisal (the bank hires an independent appraiser)
- Title search and title insurance purchase
- Final loan processing (final documents, employment verification, verification of funds)
- Negotiation of repair requests based on what comes up in the inspection
- Selecting and purchasing homeowners insurance (some lenders require it before closing)
Month 10 · Closing day
On closing day you'll sign between 80 and 120 pages of documents. The ones that actually matter to read:
- Closing Disclosure (CD) — the most important document. Your lender must give you a copy 3 days before closing. Compare it against your original Loan Estimate. If there are meaningful differences, ask before signing.
- Promissory Note — the legal promise to repay the loan
- Deed of Trust or Mortgage — puts your home up as collateral for the loan
- Title — who legally owns the property (you, after closing)
Ask before signing anything you don't understand. It's your right, and you're not offending the closing agent. One wrong signature can cost you thousands.
Real costs nobody breaks down for you
The price of the home is just one piece. For a $300,000 home with FHA at 3.5% down, plan for:
- Down payment: $10,500 (3.5%)
- Closing costs: $9,000-$12,000 (3-4%) — includes origination fee, title insurance, appraisal, inspection, etc.
- Earnest money deposit: $3,000-$10,000 (paid when you make the offer, applied toward the down payment at closing)
- Post-closing reserves: $5,000-$10,000 (the lender wants to see you have runway)
- Moving costs and essential furniture: $3,000-$8,000
- First-year unexpected maintenance: budget 1% of the home's value ($3,000)
A realistic total to start strong: $30,000-$50,000 available, not just the down payment. This is what surprises first-time families the most. If your plan was to show up with exactly the down payment, wait another 6 months and build the cushion. Buying a home "stretched thin" is the recipe for financial stress for the first 2 years.
After closing: what NOBODY teaches you
Congratulations, you're a homeowner. Three things to do in the first 4 weeks:
- Change every lock and code (old keys could still be floating around)
- Locate the main shut-off valves for water and gas, and the electrical panel (an emergency is not the moment to go looking)
- Set up autopay for your mortgage, property taxes, and homeowners insurance — most defaults come from "I forgot to pay," not "I didn't have the money"